why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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