I am full of burrito and curiosity
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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