when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
only you would photoshop your dick
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
