She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
