What a fucking waste of an outfit
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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