They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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