so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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