Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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