Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
