now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
