So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
