dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize