Your dad touched me again.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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