Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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