good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
