Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Can I color on your dick again?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
