One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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