Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
