She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
