1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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