1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
and she was petting her beer can
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
