So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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