I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
