my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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