Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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