Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
