I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize