Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
