im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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