He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think a kid would responsible me up
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
