Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
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