when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
