i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
