Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
