I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
