I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize