Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
