I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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