i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We left the knife in your bed.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
