I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
