No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
