He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
