I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
