when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
