Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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