She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
