I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
