Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
