Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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