girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
