grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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