i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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