I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
