god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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