this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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