Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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