I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
